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lying husband is he cheating?

 

i really could do with some help girlies ?pleazzzze???
my hubby darren has started hidin his mobile recently,so when he fell asleep yesterday i had a good nozy and there was texts of a woman going back a while none of them actually proves hes havin an affair he says shes a mate ...ok so y didnt he tel me i know all his mates???


 

Quite?

Well there is nothing wrong with having a few mates, what is really going on; I believe that once your partner starts to become a little secretive about mates it may well be the start of things that will not complement your relationship.

You seem clear that he has started to conceal the mobile from you. There is a big question of trust here. You must also be wondering about his e-mails by now? Once we start going down the avenue of having private mates who are of the opposite sex and that we fancy (I am guessing that there will be physical attraction) what is the next step.

Flirting is OK when you are out with the lads / girls, at work in the day-to-day interaction but when we start to exchange texts on a regular basis it is a step to far. It is clearly so as you are upset and feeling concerned about this, Rightfully so as surely he must know you well enough to be aware that actions like this are very undermining and hurtful!

Look at it another way; He would say she is just a mate wouldnt he. He is not going to say he would love to screw her.

Where to go with this. Whatever he says to you and for you to come on here it has affected the trust you once enjoyed and it may take sometime to return. Things could be much worse than they seem he may already have been out with her or in a relationship. If she is just a mate then lets all go out together because I would love to meet your special mate?

I think you need to both sit down and talk this through, do not except bull really go deep into the relationships, as you may have stopped things happening this time but it will take far greater care next time to ensure little chance of being rumbled!



I guess you may not be over the moon with my views but I have been shafted and this was close to the way it all started, especially the mate crap?

 

My advice

by: loz62

Be very careful here. I have just had a very similar thing, and he also said they were just mates. He acted strangely with his phone too. Started locking it which he never had before, and always took it with him. Said if he was having an affair he would get a PAYG and hide it from me! There is nothing wrong with your guy having female friends but as the previous person said, you should all go out together in that case, and there should be no secrets between you two. You should be able to ask him all about her, where they met, what she does, etc etc and If he will then not introduce you to this other girl then I would assume the relationship between them is not just mates. If he is honest with you when you try to talk to him about it ,(even if the truth hurts you, and he admits they are more than friends) give him credit for being completely honest, and make your decision based on whether you can trust him again in future, as we can all make mistakes. My husband was having an affair and eventually he confessed. We are still together. I have forgiven him because he was totally honest with me in the end.
If he is not having an affair, it will damage your relationship for you to just accuse him, especially if you start spying on him and checking e mails etc but you really need to sit down and talk about this to him. Trust is such a big part of a relationship. If you cant trust one another to be honest, you will never truly be happy together. Good luck

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